Social Media

back

Respectful Mom Parenting Tips: The Inherent Goodness of Children

respectful mom parenting tips no bad kids children are good
Family LifePost Category - Family LifeFamily Life
ParentingPost Category - ParentingParenting - Post Category - BabyBaby - Post Category - Toddler & PreschoolerToddler & Preschooler

Children are always good — what does our kids’ challenging behaviour really mean? Today’s Respectful Mom parenting tips explain more

Kristin Mariella from respectfulmom.com has become well known for her powerful parenting workshops, writing and social media shares. With a large following and global reach, her focus is on shifting mindsets to inspire parents to become more intentional in their parenting journey. Kristin shares relatable and engaging personal experiences, insights and knowledge as she opens up and connects on a deep level with parents and caregivers around the world. We are so excited to be partnering up with her on a new weekly series; read on for part 5 in this eight-week series, and be sure to check out our Instagram Stories every Thursday for more of Kristin’s parenting tips and mind-blowing insights!

A cornerstone mindset in the respectful parenting approach is the belief that children are always good, that there truly are no bad kids, and when they are behaving in challenging ways that it’s not because they are being naughty or mean, it is purely because they cannot do better in this moment.

“Children do well if they can,” writes Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., a well known American child psychologist and author of the books The Explosive Child and Raising Human Beings. He uses this as a starting point to help parents understand what challenging behaviour actually is.

This is a notable mindset shift from the common “Children do well if they want to.” Too frequently we think kids will do well if they want to and with that mindset we place the responsibility entirely on to our children to behave well — meaning it’s up to our kids to do well. Its not uncommon to hear parents and teachers claiming a challenging child is just looking for attention, wanting to get their own way, they are being lazy or manipulating or just plain want to give us a hard time.

But Dr. Greene questions these assumptions and wonders why kids wouldn’t want to do well?

respectful mom parenting tips children's behavior challenging good bad

When our philosophy shifts to ‘children do well if they can’, trusting and belief that children will always choose to do the right thing and behave well if they can, our parenting approach will shift dramatically.

Suddenly, challenging behaviour isn’t something we need to punish or shame our children for. It stops being something we are afraid of or take personally.

Instead of turning to discipline when our children are showing their challenging sides we turn to curiosity. Our kids’ behaviour stops being a nuisance and becomes a valuable set of clues. Clues to what is going on with them.

This is the first step of understanding what behaviour really is, at its core behaviour is always communication. And let me tell you if you aren’t already having a lightbulb moment of your own right now, this is truly life changing piece of information, this.changes.everything.

When we change perspective and begin to understand that kids do well if they can, we can shift to a more productive and supportive role as a parent. Becoming curious about the drivers of the behaviour, what truly lies behind it, we are able to step into our children’s team and work on identifying what is getting in the way of our child doing well. We see further than the behaviour, ready to reframe what we might perceive and judge as bad behaviour and instead meet to our children with empathy and understanding, even when they are at their worst!

So instead of focusing solely on the behaviour that comes up, punishing and disciplining to “fix” that certain unacceptable behaviour, we see it as communication of a deeper need. Understanding that there is something driving this behaviour, we are better able to holistically support our children from the inside out and that, opposite of using punishment and shame, is an approach that actually has a lasting positive effect on our children’s behaviour!

This is not permissive parenting, although it might be misconstrued as that. No, we still make it very clear that certain things – pushing a sibling, drawing on the wall, climbing on tables – are unacceptable and not permitted. But we can do so kindly, seeing further than the behaviour, imagining how our child is feeling in this moment, and most importantly always trusting that they are doing the best that they can.

more sassy mama

What's New

We're social
WE BELIEVE WORKING PARENTS MAKE GREAT PARENTS. A 2015 Harvard Business School study of girls with working moms in 24 countries across the globe found that they grew up to have more successful careers themselves. And another HBS study found in 2018 that kids with two working parents grew up to be *just* as happy as kids with a stay-at-home parent. In short: if working makes you happy, mama, do it! And let go of the #momguilt, because a happy and fulfilled mama = happy kids. Of course, having the flexibility to work near your kids - and for them to see you on the job - has benefits for everybody; whether you're nursing your baby or telling each other about your mornings, we're grateful for a family-friendly co-working space like @trehausco. - Kate McFarlane, Senior Editor⠀
📷 @irinanilssonphotography
#WeAreTrehaus #WorkLearnPlay⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
⠀
⠀
#sassymamasg #sosassy #momlife #workingmom #motherhood #mommylife #parenthood #momsofinstagram #momlifeisbestlife #workingparents #kidspiration #letthembelittle #letthekids #simplychildren #pixel_kids #igkiddies #magicofchildhood #cutekidsclub #candidchildhood #childhoodunplugged #kidsplay #kidsmood #kidsgram #childrenof_instagram #childrenofinstagram⠀
⠀
⠀
WE BELIEVE IN TEACHING TEAMWORK. Our world and our future are highly unpredictable. Technology is advancing so rapidly that we don't know what our world will look like in ten years let alone 20 years. Our children will also face dramatic environmental and political changes. So how do we prepare them for such an unpredictable future? #Teamwork. Learning to work as part of a team helps develop many social skills such as communication, empathy, patience, tolerance and collaboration. These are the skills that our children will need more than any others. - Emilie De Cannart, Managing Director, Sassy Media Group⠀
📸 @irinanilssonphotography ⠀
#WeAreTrehaus #WorkLearnPlay @trehausco
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
⠀
⠀
#sassymamasg #sosassy #momlife #workingmom #motherhood #mommylife #parenthood #momsofinstagram #momlifeisbestlife #mommyhood #kidspiration #designforkids #letthembelittle #letthekids #simplychildren #pixel_kids #igkiddies #magicofchildhood #cutekidsclub #candidchildhood #childhoodunplugged #kidsplay #kidsgram #kidsactivities #siblinggoals #siblingsquad #siblingtime⠀
⠀
⠀
Keeping an open dialogue with your little ones about cultural diversity is crucial to a harmonious tomorrow. Today is World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development so it's a great opportunity to introduce your children to our round up of books that teach kids to embrace their diversity in a mixed race family. #linkinbio has our top 5 picks!⠀
📸 @lovelens_rnd⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
#sassymamasg #sosassy #WorldDayforCulturalDiversityforDialogueandDevelopment #diversityday #unitednations #diversity #promotediversity #momlife #momquotes #motherhood #mommylife #parenthood #momsofinstagram #momlifeisbestlife #mommyhood #blendedfamily #biracial
Have you caught your self yelling at your children? We have all been guilty of this and it has not been our finest moment. Would you like to learn how to be a calm and collected parent? This long weekend would be a good time to practice 😀 Our #linkinbio has the details from @respectfulmom.
📸 @tippytapp
.
.
.
.
.
#sosassy #sassymamasg #parenting #momlife #motherhood #childrenof_instagram #momentsoflove #mommylife #momsofinstagram #momlifeisbestlife #mommyhood⁣
Congratulations to Elise of @taxibabyco on the birth of baby #3! We are lovin' the cuddles and giggles. Ever wonder what it's like to bump up to #3? #linkinbio for some inspiration! ⠀
📸 @juleswhale⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
.⠀
⠀
⠀
#sassymamasg #sosassy #momlife #momquotes #motherhood #mommylife #parenthood #momsofinstagram #momlifeisbestlife #mommyhood #baby3 #familyof5⠀
How beautiful is our #littlereddot! Where is this weekend taking you? Check out our #weekendplanner for some ideas and don't forget to tag us when you capture your memories 📷
#linkinbio
📸 @amebeverly⁣⠀
.⁣⠀
.⁣⠀
.⁣⠀
.⁣⠀
.⁣⠀
#sosassy #sassymamasg #singapore #visitsingapore #littlereddot #singapore_insta #singaporecity #singaporetravel #singaporeig #discoversingapore #singaporephotography #ilovesingapore
The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you - encourage your helper to acquire new skills as we kick off Education Week. #linkinbio for courses from Baby Massages & First Aid Courses to Martial Arts & Financial Planning!
@aidha.sg @home.migrantworkers @uplifters.community @beautymumsnbabies @welcometothebrightlife @fast.org.sg .
.
.
.
.
#sosassy #sassymamasg #helperappreciationmonth #educationweek #educationquotes #educationmatters #singapore #fdwsingapore #learning

We're social

What we're up to and what inspires us