
Mum guilt is all too real. Here, a working mum of two shares the reality of providing for her family in Singapore, and why parents shouldn’t have to feel guilty for using childcare centres as a much-needed resource.
Dear Mama,
I know you feel like you’re being pulled in a million directions because I feel the same way every single day. Why are we expected to work like we don’t have kids and parent like we don’t have to work? Regardless of your family’s situation, you are doing the best that you can.
You may have heard that your child’s academic performance may suffer if they spend more than 40 hours a week at childcare. But the reality is, we’re living in a country with an exceptionally high cost of living. In order to provide for our children and prepare financially for the future, many families require dual incomes. As such, your little one may indeed need to be in childcare for more than 40 hours a week.

If you’re like me, you might have a chronic case of mom guilt. I’ve been a mom for six years now, and though I hoped that mom guilt would eventually resolve, it never really does. I absolutely love my job and the opportunity to redeem the identity I had that was seemingly stripped away when I became a mom.
But I would be lying if I didn’t admit that sometimes I wish I could just focus on being a mom. I wish I didn’t have to work 8 to 9 hours a day. I wish I could nurture my child while I work from home. I wish I didn’t have to rush through my conversation with my child to get to work on time in the morning. Yet if I stopped working, what would my family’s future look like? How would we be able to provide for our kids?

Though I have not come up with a solution for my daily struggle with mom guilt, I constantly remind myself that I am doing the best I can. And so are you. Statistics do not define your child’s future, and it certainly should not have the power to make you feel like you are a lousy parent. There is so much more to life for your child than acing the PSLE or getting into the top school in Singapore.
And when those thoughts of mom guilt creep in, remember this, you are an amazing mom who is doing the best you can for your family. Be confident in what you are doing and the life you’ve created for your family and thrive proudly at work.

Then come home, leave your work behind and remember that you were specially chosen for your child. So, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and make the most of every moment you have with them regardless of how many more hours are left in the day.
Though the days feel long and you have limited energy in your tank, just remember that this challenging season shall pass. Take heart mama! You’re a superhero, and your kids are lucky to have you as their mom–whether or not they’re in childcare for over 40 hours a week.
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