‘When love, not blood, made us a family’ – SG Couple Shares The Story Of Their Adoption Journey

“We asked ourselves—does our child need to share our blood, or our love?” For Nivedita and Aravind, that question changed everything, leading them on a four-year adoption journey marked by setbacks, resilience and a life-changing moment when they finally met their child. Here’s their story:

They say good things come in small packages—and ours finally arrived in August 2025.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I think that’s a dream many women carry—the hope of experiencing that journey at least once in their lives. It was certainly mine.

But life doesn’t always turn out the way we expect. My husband and I found ourselves on a path that didn’t quite align with that dream, despite trying and hoping for years. It wasn’t easy—the emotions, especially as a woman, can be overwhelming, and often hard to put into words.

Over the years, as we built our life together, we also grew our little family in other ways—welcoming our two fur boys into our home. They brought us so much joy, but deep down, we both knew there was still a missing piece.

And that’s when our journey took a different, but incredibly meaningful turn.

Choosing a different path to parenthood

Adoption is not always the first option many of us consider and I understand why. For a lot of people, there’s a strong desire to have a child who is biologically theirs. I remember meeting doctors, and many of them suggested options like IVF, IUI, and surrogacy. These are all valid and hopeful paths, especially when you’re longing for a child.

But for us, it raised some difficult questions. Would it work? Would we be able to go through the emotional highs and potential heartbreak again if it didn’t?

While these methods have brought happiness to many families, we also knew that the journey isn’t always guaranteed. And that uncertainty made us pause.

We began asking ourselves something deeper: Was it truly necessary for our child to share our blood or lineage? Or was it more important to give love, a home, and a family to a child who needed one?

And that question changed everything.

When we shared our decision with our families, we didn’t know what to expect. Would there be hesitation? Questions? Resistance? Instead, we were met with nothing but support and excitement at the thought of welcoming a child into our home.

In 2021, we officially began our adoption journey and submitted our application.

What no one really prepares you for is the wait

Adoption sounds beautiful—and it is—but the process can be long and emotionally draining. We assumed that, given the number of children in the system, things would move quickly. After all, wouldn’t everyone want to see a child in a loving home rather than in institutional care?

But the reality was very different. It took us nearly four years just to receive our first child referral.

The first few years were filled with hope. But as time passed, that hope slowly began to fade. The lack of updates, the silence, the uncertainty—it all started to weigh heavily on us.

I still remember the day my husband and I sat down and had a difficult conversation. We told ourselves we would give it six more months and if nothing happened, we would let this dream go. Maybe our family was meant to be just the two of us … and our two fur boys.

Then came December. A few days before Christmas, I received a call from the social welfare representative. We had a child referral.

I always imagined that moment would be filled with excitement—that I’d scream or cry with joy. But when it finally happened, I felt… nothing. I was unsure. Guarded. Scared.
Unsure because, over time, I had begun to lose hope.
Scared because I didn’t know what to expect—and whether it would end in yet another heartbreak. And it did.

That was the moment everything felt like it stopped.

Going through the same cycle of hope and disappointment again takes a toll. You reach a point where you just want it all to end.

Picking ourselves up when hope felt out of reach

We were close to giving up again. And then, we received one final call. The adoption agency told us they had one last referral to share – a 2-year-old toddler.

We went in with very little expectation, trying to protect our hearts. But the moment we met her, something felt different. She was the one who was meant to be part of our family.
The beginning of our journey with her wasn’t easy. She didn’t want to see us, didn’t want to be held. The legal process moved slowly, with delays at every step before we could finally bring her home.

But somehow, through all of it, we knew—she was ours.
We brought her home under foster care while the legal process continued. And that’s when we began to see a beautiful change.

From not wanting to be held, she slowly began to seek comfort in our arms.

From being wary of family members, she started recognising them, smiling at them, and showing affection.

It was like a switch flipped. Or maybe … she had finally found her safe space. Her home.

It’s something you often read about—how children in institutional care learn to switch off emotionally, to protect themselves. But witnessing that transformation in real life is something else entirely.

All the fears we once had—
Would she adapt to us?
To our parents?
To our extended family?
To a new language, a new environment, a completely new life?

Somehow, she did.

Finding our way as a family

It’s been four months since she became legally ours, and three months since we brought her home to Singapore.
And for me, as a mother—it has been a journey of constant learning. Some days are overwhelming and exhausting. Other days, I wish I could freeze time and hold on to the little, precious moments—the way she laughs, the way she says something new, the way she reaches out for us.

Whether you’re a mother to a biological child or an adopted one, it is never easy. The emotions are real—the stress, the protectiveness, the frustration, the guilt. They can feel heavy at times.

But at the end of every day, there is one thing that makes it all worth it—The happiness on your child’s face when they see you. And the little hug they give you.
And in that moment, everything else fades away.

This story was written and shared by Nivedita and Aravind. We wish them all the best in their beautiful journey of parenthood. If you have a story to share, feel free to reach out to us at [email protected]

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