“They don’t look like they have Down syndrome” Is Not A Compliment (Down Syndrome Facts & How You Can Help)

To celebrate World Down syndrome Day on 21 March, we’ve listed out some FAQs on Down syndrome and how you can contribute to 21 Extra Goodness, a mama-owned social venture with a great cause

World Down Syndrome Day, a global event to raise awareness and exemplify the abilities of persons with Down syndrome, falls on 21 March. We list out the answers to the most commonly asked questions about Down syndrome, plus firsthand tips from a Singaporean mama on how to respectfully communicate with children with DS, and all the deets on 21 Extra Goodness, a home-based social venture started by a mama whose child has DS.

Fast Facts About Down Syndrome
Respectful communication towards children with Down syndrome (and their mamas)
21 Extra Goodness

Down syndrome: Fast Facts

• Down syndrome is the result of extra chromosomal material.
• Down syndrome is a genetic disorder that occurs in about one in every 800 babies in Singapore.
• Down syndrome affects people of all economic, educational, cultural, ethnic and racial categories.
• The chance a baby will have Down syndrome increases with the age of the mother, however, 80% of babies with Down syndrome are born to women 35 years old and younger simply because women in that age group have the most babies.
• Down syndrome causes developmental delays and, typically, mild to moderate cognitive impairment. Both, however, range across a broad span and the degree of delay and impairment is highly individual.
• Children with Down syndrome can and do learn. They are often avid students and learn to read, write, do math and more alongside their typical peers. They commonly graduate from high school and, increasingly, pursue post-secondary educational opportunities.
• Most people with Down syndrome have cognitive delays that are mild to moderate. Children with Down syndrome fully participate in public and private educational programs. Educators and researchers are still discovering the full educational potential of people with Down syndrome.
• Life expectancy for individuals with Down syndrome has increased dramatically in recent years, with the average life expectancy approaching that of peers without Down syndrome.
• People with Down syndrome have feelings just like everyone else in the population. They experience the full range of emotions. They respond to positive expressions of friendship and they are hurt and upset by inconsiderate behavior.
• Being a parent is challenging, regardless of the capabilities of the child. This is also true for children with Down syndrome. However, many parents of children with Down syndrome consider their lives full, happy and rich. All children – both with and without Down syndrome – are cherished.
• If your child has Down syndrome, you are not alone. You are now part of a large, caring community whose hallmark is our ability to reach out to each other. To laugh and cry, to share information and help each other along a road that, at times, seems impossibly long and hard, but is mostly wonderfully rewarding.

Respectful communication towards children with Down syndrome (and their mamas)

We love Singaporean mama Nurjihan‘s fashionable style posts on Instagram, but even more inspiring is how open she is with sharing about her mama life with her son Izzul, who has Down syndrome. Here are her top tips on the best ways to respectfully communicate with children with Down syndrome and mamas whose children have Down syndrome. Click here to view our handy communication chart!

1. Use people-first language

Do use people-first language when referring to children with Down syndrome – use language such as ‘child with DS’ or ‘child with special needs’, instead of ‘Down’s child’ or ‘special child’.

2. Don’t say ‘sorry’!

Don’t say ‘sorry’ when you find out a child has DS. Every child is a blessing!

3. Don’t ask, “Why didn’t you check?”

Don’t ask a mama whose child has DS why they didn’t check during pregnancy to see if ‘something was wrong’. People are free to make their own choices and asking such a question implies judgement towards the child with DS.

4. “They don’t look like they have Down syndrome” is not a compliment

Saying, “He/she doesn’t look like they have DS,” will not change the fact that the child has DS.

5. Don’t be afraid to let your kids approach children with DS to play

Don’t be afraid to let your kids approach children with DS to play. Toddlers usually can’t tell when another child is ‘different’, so just as they wouldn’t treat children with DS differently, neither should you! Kids usually imitate our actions and the way we speak, so as parents we should be setting good examples for our children. Do not pass remarks or judgement on others’ behaviour or appearances just because they appear ‘different’.

How you can help: 21 Extra Goodness

21–Extra–Goodness is a Singapore-based social venture meant to raise awareness on kids with special needs, specifically with Down syndrome. The mama behind it is Anna Tingzon, whose 3-year-old daughter, Marian, has Down syndrome. Anna’s daughter inspired her to start the home-based business, offering comforting home-cooked Filipino meals and desserts. From 1-31 March 2021, for World Down syndrome Day 21 Extra Goodness has launched Bag of Goodness, a welcome hamper to give away to mothers who have just given birth to kids with special needs. By distributing these hampers, Anna aims to give hope and assurance to new mothers that everything will be OK with the right support and appropriate intervention for their child.

Each Bag of Goodness will contain a short note and photo of Marian to inspire other mamas! You can contribute to  Down Syndrome Association (Singapore) by making a donation here.