“Can I Tell You Something?” Here’s How To Be Your Child’s Go-To Person For The Tough Questions

Wondering how to talk to your child about deeper topics like drugs? It begins with connecting with them in the day-to-day. Read on for helpful tips on how you can build a trusting relationship with your child.

Your child runs up to share a random story about their day at school, but you’re in the middle of cooking dinner or finishing up a last-minute task for work. It might be tempting to brush them off so you can focus. Trust me, we’ve all been there. But raising a child who will one day say, “Can I tell you something?” about the hard stuff is less about one grand speech and more about a thousand small, steady moments. If it feels daunting given your busy schedule, no need to worry. We’ve got some practical tips to help you build a connection with your child, brick by brick.

When kids turn to their peers (or the internet) instead of you

“Children don’t need perfect answers,” Dr Adrian Loh, Council Member of the National Council Against Drug Abuse, shares, “They need a safe place to ask questions or share their concerns where they will not feel judged or dismissed. When home feels safe, outside influences carry less weight.”

When the kids are young, you are their world. How you connect with your child in the early years makes all the difference. When your child becomes a pre-teen (at around 10 years old), they turn to their peers and social media trends, and your opinion takes a backseat. With the internet in the palm of their hands, our kids are exposed to risky narratives and grown-up topics like drugs way earlier than they can fully process them.

Not everything they encounter online is accurate or responsible. Some content may downplay the harms of drugs, while other sources may simply lack the context young people need to understand the real risks.

“It can feel like parents are competing with powerful external influences,” says Dr Adrian Loh. “But what protects a child most isn’t control — it’s connection.”

Though fighting external influences feels impossible, it doesn’t have to be. That’s why building a non-judgmental relationship of trust and connection matters now more than ever. This is especially important when it comes to drugs, where early curiosity, peer influence and misinformation can shape how children perceive risk.

Practical ways to protect and connect with your child

1. Create tiny daily rituals.
Commit to creating five minutes of a safe space at bedtime, where your child can tell you anything. When they’re stalling bedtime with a billion questions or stories, take advantage of it. Slow down and really listen to what they have to say.

2. Stay calm when they confess small mistakes.
If you explode when they spill juice, they are less likely to confess bigger “spills” later in life, including peer pressure or unsafe situations involving drugs. Respond with curiosity, and help them find a solution. Your reaction becomes their risk-assessment system.

3. Normalise talking about awkward topics in an age-appropriate way.
Talking about the birds and the bees, vaping, drugs and mental health should be bite-sized conversations that are tailored to each age group. This can start simply, such as teaching children not to accept unknown substances and to tell a trusted adult if they are ever offered something unsafe.

Read more: How To Talk To Kids About Sex In An Age-Appropriate Way

4. Protect one-on-one time.
If you have more than one child, schedule one-on-one dates with your child. It can be as short as a 20-minute ice-cream date or a short walk downstairs. Personalised attention builds trust.

5. Ask open-ended questions.
Instead of “Did you finish your homework?” try “What was the best part of your day?” or “What was something weird or surprising that happened today?” Open-ended questions invite stories. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn about your child when you give them the chance to share.

Parenting in this day and age is no easy feat, but remember that you’re not alone. National Council Against Drug Abuse offers helpful resources to equip you with the tools you need to have difficult conversations with your child. Follow them on Instagram and Facebook to stay in the know. So, when your child has complicated questions about identity, pressure, drugs, vaping or relationships, they will know exactly where to bring them.

National Council Against Drug Abuse, www.ncada.org.sg