


What should parents do if another child is being rough with their child at the playground? Bricks & Blocks founder and parenting coach Swetha Vigraham explains how to navigate these situations and maintain safe spaces for kids in public.
“Ma! Can we go to the playground?” is a question I hear often in my house in Singapore, and I’m sure it’s familiar in any home with young children. The playground represents the epitome of joy for kids, offering them a space to be free from the watchful eye of a teacher or the confines of home. It’s where they can unleash their creativity, engage in imaginative play, and develop social skills in a natural, unstructured way.
For parents, the playground serves as a safe space to observe their children interacting with peers. It’s also an opportunity to connect with other parents and share moments of parenting. It can provide a much-needed break for busy parents or helpers after a day of household chores.
But imagine if this joyful scene were disrupted by an unsettling incident. In a recent case, a man was arrested for allegedly slapping a 6-year-old boy at an indoor playground after the boy pushed his child. While the details of the incident are still unclear, what stands out is the way this event has disrupted the sense of safety and freedom that the playground should offer.
How to manage conflict between children in public spaces
Conflicts are a common occurrence in playgrounds. It’s not unusual for children to engage in rough play or misbehave. However, when another child crosses the line into aggressive behaviour, it can be uncomfortable for both the child and the parent witnessing it. In these moments, it’s crucial to protect your child while also modelling how to handle conflict in a calm and constructive way.
1. Respond Calmly:
Take a deep breath before reacting. Assess whether the behaviour is an isolated incident or part of a recurring pattern. Remember, children often mirror adult reactions, so keeping your emotions in check is key.
2. Use the REAL Framework for Resolution:
- Respond: Guide your child to respond assertively, but peacefully. You might say, “That wasn’t kind. Let’s go play somewhere else,” or “We don’t hit; we use our words.”
- Engage: If the other child’s behaviour continues, calmly approach their parent in a non-judgmental, non-accusatory tone. A simple, “I noticed that your child pushed mine. I just wanted to make you aware,” can open a dialogue without escalating tensions.
- Avoid: If necessary, remove your child from the situation without confrontation. This is especially important if the other parent does not engage in resolving the conflict. You could say, “Let’s move to a different area of the playground,” or “We can give your friend some space to calm down.”
- Leave: In some cases, the best option is to leave the playground temporarily. You might say, “That wasn’t nice. Let’s take a break and come back later.”
3. Help Your Child Process the Situation:
- Acknowledge: If your child is upset or confused, acknowledge their emotions. Let them know it’s okay to feel that way: “I know it was frustrating when that child pushed you. I’m here to help you through it.”
- Explain: Help your child understand why you made certain decisions, whether it was to leave the situation or guide them away from the conflict. For example, “We left because it wasn’t safe for you to play with someone who’s hurting others,” or “We can try again later when the situation is calmer.”
- Reinforce positive behaviour: Emphasise the importance of kindness and respect. Praise your child when they demonstrate these qualities, teaching them to model empathy and problem-solving skills.
Protecting the freedom of the playground for children
Playgrounds are public spaces where children should feel free to explore, play, and learn. However, incidents like these remind us of the need to ensure these environments remain safe and welcoming for everyone. Parents, caregivers, and
even bystanders should feel empowered to step in when they witness harmful behaviour and support those struggling with difficult parenting situations.
This situation also offers a moment to reflect on the broader culture of parenting in Singapore and beyond. In our fast-paced, high-pressure society, many parents face overwhelming stress. It’s crucial for communities to come together and offer support, whether through parenting workshops, local resources, or simply being there for one
another.
While the details of this case are still under investigation, it serves as a powerful reminder of the daily challenges faced by parents and caregivers. It also underscores the importance of fostering empathy, understanding, and kindness when it comes to discipline and conflict resolution. As a community, we must strive to create environments where both children and parents feel supported, empowered, and encouraged to raise the next generation in healthy, loving ways.
Swetha helps parents embrace unguilty parenting and rediscover the joy in raising their kids. You can find more of her parenting resources at Bricks & Blocks.