There is a middle ground between strict authoritarian parenting and letting your kids run wild. Parenting expert Kristin Mariella explains the “Third Way of Discipline”
Kristin Mariella from respectfulmom.com has become well known for her powerful parenting workshops, writing and social media shares. With a large following and global reach, her focus is on shifting mindsets to inspire parents to become more intentional in their parenting journey. Kristin shares relatable and engaging personal experiences, insights and knowledge as she opens up and connects on a deep level with parents and caregivers around the world. We are so excited to be partnering up with her on a new weekly series; read on for part 1, and be sure to check out our Instagram Stories every Thursday for more of Kristin’s parenting tips and mind-blowing insights!
One of the most common misunderstandings around peaceful or respectful parenting is that it is permissive parenting, that we don’t set any limits or boundaries, that we never say “no” to our kids etc. This could not be further from the truth. As a respectful parent we understand how important clear boundaries are for our children’s well-being. Limits are important, but HOW we set them matters even more.
I sometimes call it the “Third Way of Discipline” and the reason for that is most parents feel like they can basically choose from two “approaches” when it comes to parenting and discipline in particular: the authoritarian style, or the permissive style.
So the idea most of us hold is that if you want to enforce limits and rules with your children you are going to have to adopt to an authoritarian parenting style and incorporate punishments and a strict attitude, and if you don’t want to sign up for that you will automatically become a permissive parent, and because you don’t believe in punishments your kids will run wild, with no one enforcing any rules or limits.
I know so many parents who are confused by this notion because, like myself for example, I do not believe in punishments and shaming my children to behave, BUT I also have high expectations, and really understand the importance of limits and boundaries.
What we need to realise is that there is a THIRD way. There IS a way to set clear limits without punishing for “bad” behaviour, to practice discipline without shame. And it. Is. Life-changing.
I call this way Empathic limits but the same approach to discipline has been called respectful limits, loving limits, peaceful limits or gentle discipline.
In my first Sassy Mama Instagram takeover I will be comparing authoritarian parenting to respectful parenting, digging deep into how the different styles of discipline and limit setting actually impacts our children in the long run.”
Be sure to check out our Instagram Stories today for more respectful parenting insights from Kristin, mamas!
Lead image via Respectful Mom; image #1 via Getty